I could be wrong, but I'm guessing the majority of us have horror stories from childhood. I doubt that any of us escaped childhood without scars from some sort of dysfunction. I'll won't go into details, just say that I endured abuse.
I grew up with an alcoholic father. This left me with more pity for him than anger. He tried to the best of his ability to teach us good values. As is typical, his addiction and relative lack of social skills left him distant, unreliable, and angry. Our family situation left my mother depressed emotionally distant as well. I was the oldest of 6 children, and felt responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone. I am not looking for sympathy here. In fact, I am grateful for my experiences, as they have given me an empathetic perspective and determination. I did not enter adulthood without scars.
My lack of self-love and trust issues ruined my first marriage. Which in turn almost ruined me. I had sworn that I would never put my children through unhappy parents or a divorce. But I did not know how to do anything different! The raw truth is that we live what we learn until the pain becomes so intense that we either change or cave. I caved, and then changed.
Although healing is a lifelong process, I can say that I can talk about my past now without tears. Opposing statistics on marriages, my second marriage is really good. I believe this is because I took a good hard look at what I needed to change, and how to work through my ego and get to my true self.
I have always been aware of my deep-seated insecurities. I felt unlovable and insignificant. Though I knew there must be a better way and that I was meant to feel joy, I couldn't find tactile answers. I looked to my religion, and was open to any new teaching or method that didn't conflict with my beliefs.
I won't go into each of them in detail, as I would have to write a book (maybe I will). I have found yoga, meditation, service to others, extreme exercise (marathons, 100-200 mile bike rides, tri-athlons) a business that helps me personally and financially, and loving 8 children unconditionally to be helpful in my journey of healing. I wish I would have learned long ago what I know now through my business that has taught me a lot about the Law of Attraction. Maybe I wasn't ready to accept these concepts until now. Its funny how life throws things your way when it does.
Healing really only takes a decision. It sounds too simple, I know. It's changing your beliefs so that you can make the decision to be happy that takes the time and effort (well for most). It's that we get some sort of "peanut prize" for not letting our offenders off the hook by being totally free of the harm they've done. Well, guess what? You are not hurting them by holding on. You didn't put them on the hook, and you can't let them off. You can however, let yourself off, and decide to be happy. Be grateful for the good things, and move forward.
Gratitude. Yes, we can all be grateful for something on any given day, and probably in any given hour. If you start feeling sorry for yourself again, think of the approximately 5 billion people in this world right now that you wouldn't trade places with!
Just in case you think happiness is not a choice, visit a third-world country. Maybe only through books or the internet. I traveled to Ethiopia to adopt our two youngest children, and it changed my life. Living conditions, AIDS, the orphan epidemic, and lack of food didn't stop most of these people from feeling joy and hope. They had learned to rely on the universal truth that we are human BEINGS rather than DOINGS. Think outside of yourself for a while. Things you have or even do will never define YOU. Just be. Find joy. It has always been there within you from the beginning of your creation, and you can't change it. Just recognize it, and find purpose!
This may sound as though I am judging anyone who has gone through horrible circumstances and is lost in depression or self-destruction. Remember I have been there. I know the pain. I know the necessary work to heal. My only hope is to help someone get there faster than me. Lets all stop wasting time and start living life the way it was meant. "Men are that they might have joy.
I grew up with an alcoholic father. This left me with more pity for him than anger. He tried to the best of his ability to teach us good values. As is typical, his addiction and relative lack of social skills left him distant, unreliable, and angry. Our family situation left my mother depressed emotionally distant as well. I was the oldest of 6 children, and felt responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone. I am not looking for sympathy here. In fact, I am grateful for my experiences, as they have given me an empathetic perspective and determination. I did not enter adulthood without scars.
My lack of self-love and trust issues ruined my first marriage. Which in turn almost ruined me. I had sworn that I would never put my children through unhappy parents or a divorce. But I did not know how to do anything different! The raw truth is that we live what we learn until the pain becomes so intense that we either change or cave. I caved, and then changed.
Although healing is a lifelong process, I can say that I can talk about my past now without tears. Opposing statistics on marriages, my second marriage is really good. I believe this is because I took a good hard look at what I needed to change, and how to work through my ego and get to my true self.
I have always been aware of my deep-seated insecurities. I felt unlovable and insignificant. Though I knew there must be a better way and that I was meant to feel joy, I couldn't find tactile answers. I looked to my religion, and was open to any new teaching or method that didn't conflict with my beliefs.
I won't go into each of them in detail, as I would have to write a book (maybe I will). I have found yoga, meditation, service to others, extreme exercise (marathons, 100-200 mile bike rides, tri-athlons) a business that helps me personally and financially, and loving 8 children unconditionally to be helpful in my journey of healing. I wish I would have learned long ago what I know now through my business that has taught me a lot about the Law of Attraction. Maybe I wasn't ready to accept these concepts until now. Its funny how life throws things your way when it does.
Healing really only takes a decision. It sounds too simple, I know. It's changing your beliefs so that you can make the decision to be happy that takes the time and effort (well for most). It's that we get some sort of "peanut prize" for not letting our offenders off the hook by being totally free of the harm they've done. Well, guess what? You are not hurting them by holding on. You didn't put them on the hook, and you can't let them off. You can however, let yourself off, and decide to be happy. Be grateful for the good things, and move forward.
Gratitude. Yes, we can all be grateful for something on any given day, and probably in any given hour. If you start feeling sorry for yourself again, think of the approximately 5 billion people in this world right now that you wouldn't trade places with!
Just in case you think happiness is not a choice, visit a third-world country. Maybe only through books or the internet. I traveled to Ethiopia to adopt our two youngest children, and it changed my life. Living conditions, AIDS, the orphan epidemic, and lack of food didn't stop most of these people from feeling joy and hope. They had learned to rely on the universal truth that we are human BEINGS rather than DOINGS. Think outside of yourself for a while. Things you have or even do will never define YOU. Just be. Find joy. It has always been there within you from the beginning of your creation, and you can't change it. Just recognize it, and find purpose!
This may sound as though I am judging anyone who has gone through horrible circumstances and is lost in depression or self-destruction. Remember I have been there. I know the pain. I know the necessary work to heal. My only hope is to help someone get there faster than me. Lets all stop wasting time and start living life the way it was meant. "Men are that they might have joy.
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